Day Collars

Introducing Discretion with the BDSM Day Collar

Traditionally discreet in nature, and predominantly practiced by gay community members, the BDSM movement has migrated into the homes of the middle class. This growth brings with it a change in role for the collar, and the introduction of the so-called day collar (e.g., a, more discreet choker that could be mistaken for regular jewellery by the unknowing).

Collaring, for those not familiar with the concept, comes at a time when a submissive has completed their so-called training (i.e., training that is completed through hard work and devotion), signifying the time to pursue next steps in the sub/dom relationship. The occasion might even be signified with a ceremony.

The collar more generally embodies the power dynamic between a dominant and his sub – and it would be for this reason that the sub is then said to be collared (i.e., not if they are wearing it for fashion purposes). There are various types of collar, including posture collars, dog collars, and – of course – day collars.

Essentially, the latter acts as a substitute for other collars when the sub is out in public. It can be passed off as ordinary jewelry for when you are at work or out socializing, meaning you don’t have to answer any awkward, cringey or plain ignorant questions about your sub lifestyle.

Of course, the different types of collar remain open to interpretation by the couple using them. However, the three main types include the slave collar, the play collar and the training collar. The slave collar is the most common of the three and tends to signify that all-important ownership.

Thus, if a dom removes the collar (or permits his sub to do so themselves), this is an indication that the power dynamic is changing. In other words, the BDSM relationship has been put on hold. For this reason, instead of wearing no collar, you might find yourself wearing a day collar when out in public in order to maintain this power dynamic out with the privacy of the home.

Whilst a slave collar might be clunky and made from leather or stainless steel, day collars provide discretion using materials such as gold, crystal and sterling silver in the form of gold and silver. Furthermore, these collections are not limited to women: Since joint collaring is also an expression of the commitment required in a BDSM relationship, a day collar can symbolize this a bit like a wedding ring. Instead of a day collar necklace, the dom might wear a bracelet or a longer chain to express his devotion.

The day collar will allow your dom to continue to exert his dominance when not in your company, and symbolizes the control and ownership he maintains in the relationship. The day collar, then, serves as a reminder of this, and represents the acceptance of this transferred power. It allows you to stick to the BDSM agreement whilst not restricting your ability to participate in a social life, in a professional life or whatever you want to do with your life!